Vote Kerry!
That’s it, I’ve had enough. After hearing the same irrational, illogical debates from Kerry supporters, I’ve finally snapped and am going to address the most common ones one-by-one and hopefully end this stupidity.
The War in Iraq
For this one, I’m going to actually debate myself, using every argument I’ve heard from the Kerry supporters and democrats alike. Here we go..
Democrat: I hate Bush because he sent people to Iraq. That’s why I’m voting for Kerry.
Ryan: Well you know, Kerry did vote to send our troops over there as well.
Democrat: The Senate wouldn’t have voted for it if Bush hadn’t lied to everyone.
Ryan: That’s funny because three bi-partisan committees made up of the Senate Joint Committee on the war, the 9/11 Report, and a British investigation actually said that he didn’t lie; That he was given bad information by the CIA. And as any responsible Commander in Chief, he would have acted on it.
Democrat: Well maybe he wouldn’t have got bad information from the CIA if he hadn’t pressured them so much.
Ryan: Maybe, but do you honestly think that he was able to pressure British and Russian intelligence that gave him the same information concerning WMDs?
Democrat: Oh well, he is the President and has the final call, it’s still his fault.
Ryan: He wouldn’t have been able to make that “final call” if the Senate, including Kerry, hadn’t given him a “Blank check” to do what he wanted over there.
Democrat: Well at least now Kerry has come out against the war and wants to pull our troops.
Ryan: Yes, a good platform indeed. It might have almost worked if the idiot had not weeks ago said that if knowing what he knew now, including that there were no weapons of mass destruction, he still would have approved the war.
Democrat: ……oh…. So then John Kerry is just an asshole who can’t figure out what he wants or what he stands for?
Ryan: Now we understand each other, but I still hate you, you left-wing faggot.
Another stupid argument I hear on I daily basis; If your pro-abortion you should vote Kerry. This may be a valid argument in 2000, but not against an incumbent president. If Bush was really that anti-abortion, don’t you think he’d ban it by now? Even you liberal dipshits can conclude that it is unlikely that Georgey decided that he wasn’t going to ban abortions in his first term, but gamble and hope that he gets elected a second time before he does it. Not to mention that Bush, despite how Pro-Life he is, actually is the first president to fund stem-cell research. And no, its not that new, Clinton could have backed it too, but he didn’t. Your pro-choice attitude leads me to my next democratic hypocrisy:
As much as you don’t want to admit it, a lot of your ideals are socialist and communist based. Where the government takes from the rich and gives to the poor, and provides everything society needs to live. Yes my left-winged friends, you, especially Kerry, fall into this category. You claim to be pro-choice, but how is it a choice when you are forced to provide for the poor, homeless, and lazy assholes who won’t get a job. If you were so pro-choice, you’d leave my paycheck alone, and donate and help with charities/organizations yourselves; keep it a choice!! I hate you lazy pricks.
I love the notion that it was Bush that screwed the economy, though it usually comes from uneducated people who never bother to look into the matter themselves. I am going to make this clear: George Bush inherited a recession caused by the Clinton administration, he did not create it; 9/11 didn’t help matters either. In fact, had he not been in office, it probably would have been worse. What most people don’t know is that once everything settled down, i.e. the last two years, the economy has actually undergone growth that supercedes the 90’s rates. In the first quarter of this year, the actually had to raise interest rates a bit because the economy was growing to fast. Yea, sounds like a horrible guy to me. And, we all know that if Bush does lose, though polls show that unlikely at the moment, and the economy does continue to grow, a democrat will once again be given credit he doesn’t deserve.
This one by far irritates me the most. Lets raise all of our taxes and give people health care, despite the fact that it has FAILED in EVERY country it has been implemented in. Don’t believe me? Go ask our neighbors to the north how much the love their free health care and low paychecks. Here’s an idea, instead of using a proven failing method, why not think outside the box and kill two birds with one stone. Lets face it, most health care issues are elderly based. With them in mind, and even if you don’t realize it, you too, why not fix the problem by fixing social security? Health care wouldn’t be unaffordable for the elderly if they didn’t get such shitty social security checks. Easy fix, give them larger checks; how you may ask? Let me explain, by actually creating private social security accounts for individuals, studies show that even at a low paying job, a person could retire with more money than a 401K. Wow, how easy was that? Let people use their own god damned money and they can afford healthcare and be happy! Not to mention it punishes the freeloading scums of society that I hate anyways and refuse to support. God I’m a genius.
John Edwards' Hair
By far the most homosexual argument I have ever heard to elect someone. He’s handsome and has sweet hair. Not only does this one just dumbfound me, but it raises another idea. Instead of just banning gay marriage, lets ban gay voting too. Enough said, John Edward supporters are gay, I don’t think any of you will disagree.
If this wasn’t enough for you, e-mail me any other concerns/ arguments that you need to be shot down, because I will be glad to do it. I hope you found this enlightening, and will save your soul and the American way of life by not putting these assholes in office. The population of Americans who have an I.Q. over 100 would appreciate it.