If only God was drunk on the day of creation....
If I were God, and probably should be, I'd do things a little bit different; mainly with my choice in animals. After a few minutes of contemplation and binge drinking, I've thought up some of the best animal combinations that were overlooked during creation. For instance, the Liger, it's a cross between a lion and a tiger, bred for its magic skill and abilities with a bow-staff. Though I lack a picture of this beast, I was able to get some photos of some other rare, mythed animals that escaped from Hell's petting zoo:
You may have heard of a whale-shark, now meet its third cousin, the Shark-Whale. It's has the size and tail of a whale, but the speed and head of a Great White. And of course, it has a thirst for children.
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OMFG!!! Imagine if we could clone these bastards and create an army of them, we would decimate any opposition. This cross between a Cubone, see pic above because I doubt you know what it is, and your everyday penguin. Pretty much useless by themselves, but when combined they become the most badass killing machines ever! I say we set-up a raid and kidnap one of these guys; though I'm sure it'll be fucking impossible to take one of these down alive.
This one just baffles me. I mean seriously, God must have been smokin' the pipe when he made this guy. Apparently
if you take a regular ferret and this
shoe: 
, you'll get the King Ferret. He rules over all other ferrets and gains ridiculous
ferret powers. Such as the ability to smell infinitely worse than any other
ferret and sneak through ANY crevice; so if you ever wake up with a sore butt,
you can most likely blame this canty little beast.
I do believe this is the answer to world peace. If Pugasus's like this one were abundant and flew freely everywhere, I don't think anyone would even want to fight. Mainly because they will be A.) Shitting their pants laughing at these bastards, or B.) Afraid; 'Cause everyone knows that the Pugasus hates violence, therefore if it witnesses any, it promptly flies down, barrages the asshole's rectum with its horn, and burns them alive with it's tail. Don't fuck with Pugasus's...
Well this concludes the first part of a series of articles that will expose these animals for what they are. There will be more in future pages, in the meantime, if you have spotted any other of these rare animals e-mail me and I will post a photo of it next time around.
All animals on this or any future pages like it are excluded from my animal equality stipulations in a previous article. Also, all animal creations on this page are mine. If you want to use them just e-mail me or you will receive a horrible ball-stomping.