“26 Things I Hate
More Than Joe Salley”
*~*Part I*~*
Hi!!!!! My name is Jami, and
I am chained Hobo’s new “sex writer.”
FUN!!! What is
a sex writer you might ask? Well,
if you as an individual possess that knowledge, it is your civic duty to share
it with me. I, a newly appointer
sex writer, clearly need that information way more than you ever
could. No really, I do. Annnnyways,
I figured it only fitting to start
this atrocity with random, completely meaningless rambling… Now that it’s
out of the way… on to business! This,
my first, article shall be entitled “Things I hate (more than Joe Salley),”
and it shall be the beginning of an approximately 26 part series. I originally wanted to entitle this simply “Things I
Hate,” and intended it to be part of a two thousand or so part series…. but
I’m really lazy, and that sounds like a lot
of work. SO, ‘What I
Hate (more than Joe Salley)’ at this moment (in really drunken Jami-World
time) is voicemail messages that begin with “Hey, Its me…”
HELLLLO you RETARTED, dick sucking, ass cheek licking, FUCKSHNEEEEEE!!!!!!!!
If I know its “you,” I’m sure the message that your leaving me
doesn’t need to begin with “hey, its me…” and if I don’t know who
“you” are…. Say your GD name!!!!!!!
You are not to cool to leave your name in a VM.
You may think your important enough that I’m
going to know who “you” are, but if you are saying “hey, its
me…” at the beginning of your message, chances are… I hate you, and were
NOT friends. Maybe I don’t know
who you are... Clearly we are
not close buddies, cuz if we were, you would be way cooler than to start a VM
with “hey, its me….” So
in closing, DON’T BE A JACK ASS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If I do know you, your being a redundant
prick, and if I don’t know you, your being a presumptuous ass hole.
You cant win, either way, until you learn to begin a voicemail
like a normal, non pompous faggot human being.
That’s all that I hate more than Joe Salley at this moment… thanks,
“Stay Classy,” and goodnight.
P.S.
Yes, I do realize this is a poorly written piece of shit excuse
for creative writing, and I’m actually sorry your wasting your time reading
this… I suck, Ill give you that. BUT…
in my defense, its 6:53 am on Saturday morning, and I JUST got home.
I was out, ACTUALLY having a
*DaMn* good time all night.
What
did you do last night?!? Sit
at your computer and read about people who DON’T suck at life??
Play with yourself for an obscene amount of time?!?
Yeeeeaaaah… I win. Honestly
though, quit sucking and get off your ass, go do something. (Something BESIDES that you FuCkShneee!!)
Thanks.
*~*Please send any
and all hate mail directly to me @ JamiG2602@comcast.net*~*