Tony’s Date Application
I have been inspired to do this by a number of factors, namely my rough break-up over the past week, which I am finally, and happily, over. Also, I’ll credit the great Tucker Max (tuckermax.com) for giving me the idea. I’m sure he wasn’t the first, but he’s the first I have seen do it, and he did it well. I am not anticipating receiving a single application. Ever. I don’t even know if a decent relationship could ever spawn from an online application. With that said, let the applications flow in! Without further ado, let me say a few things about myself:
My name is Tony Silvio. I am not stunningly attractive, but I do have a big nose, and I hate gays. That has to count for more than looks. I am honest, intelligent, faithful and a good listener. People say I’m funny and a positive influence. If you want to date me, fine, apply. If you plan on fucking other individuals simultaneously, save yourself the time and, ultimately, your life, because I’m not fucking around this time. You go astray, I kill you. Just kidding of course! Ha, ha!
Do not assume that the content of my questionnaire directly correlates to what I’m looking for. Maybe some of it does, maybe some of it doesn’t. You’ll never know! Copy and paste this to Word or something, fill it out, and email me at chainedhobo@yahoo.com.
Application to Date Tony:
Are you female?
If not, please discontinue the survey.
Roughly how many sexual partners have you had?
Are you, or have you ever been slutty?
Do you have any psychiatric disorders?
If yes, please list them in great detail here:
Have you every cheated on a boyfriend, even if it was seemingly irrelevant to you?
List your height, weight, proportions, hair color, and anything else you feel is necessary here:
What kind of activities do you enjoy?
Do you consider yourself intelligent?
Are you always honest?
What do you think is more important, the Now or the Future?
Now, tell me why I should consider going out with you:
Thanks for submitting the app.!
Disclaimer: Submitted applications will not be posted on the website, Chained Hobo, under any circumstances unless requested by the submitter.